Making it all about you and Showing little interest in others

Showing little interest in others

There’s a balance between being overly and forcefully interested in others, and not being a teacher’s pet. But respect will fade if you’re constantly talking about yourself while neglecting to ask others about themselves.

Not everyone wants to be the center of attention, but anyone can feel deflated with little interest in reconnecting if the conversation involves one person lacking interest in the other. Few people will complain about this, but it gets noticed.

True leaders are at least curious about those they are with — not because they are feigning niceness to be liked, but because they are genuinely intrigued by the topic. It’s about developing consciousness about those around them. It’s about learning.

It’s always a win-win to be conscious of the other person in a conversation. Because if all others hear is only about you, it’s an immediate conversation-killer.

Making it all about you

A selfish talker will use anything you say as a jumping off point into their own stories. They’ll ask the most random questions like, “Have you ever been to Egypt?” or “Have you read Infinite Jest?” Because they have, and they want to tell you all about it. They also offer way too much information, and name drop like crazy. Anyone who does this only wants a spotlight.

Here’s how to fix it:

Don’t walk into a conversation with the goal of telling your favorite stories or sharing your most precious knowledge.

Let a conversation follow its own path. Let other people talk and tell their stories. Responses will pop into your head. If you remember a story or some piece of information in the moment, that’s the thing you should share. It should come spontaneously.